Suddenly, I’m scared to sleep, broken the only promise I wanted to keep.
The tingling in my lips was an angel kissing me flippantly, I opened my eyes bathing in a Light, too blind to see but blind enough to see you entwined with god and my right. Didn’t want to go back to whispering attacks, whipping backlash, discontented myriads. Why would I return to muddy ploughs when I’ve finally made it to the clouds? There was no pain, even the numb was stainless, I was just. Floating. Ship sailing the skies of minds, scaling the sands of time, q & a for me and mine and His, saving me for layer cakes sending me in exile to the swelling abyss.
Find your reason to be. You are It. Gives me hot flushes, that’s not right, inducing migraines, sticks pins in my eyes, wanting to see the tears I cry, leaving trails on flushed cheeks, musing at sprained strains. Can’t let go, can’t move on. It’s been so long, you’re gone. Everywhere I venture is wrong.
You make me want to run up to the summit, tight rope the edge of a volcano, tip-toe teetering on an ashen crust, shout your name into the sky in a try to fight for Us, but the stars glare back at me with parlance spitting arrowed tears you arched from your poison bow that day. I was waiting, waiting, I wanted to hear my heart sing your chords but instead my seemingly callous actions caused you pain. What did I gain, treasure chest, emptied boon. Dancing alone across dusky dunes. A night dying with a waxing moon. My words: too much too soon. Your words: too little too late.
I flake, out.
Absorb you into my skin, what sin is this? Carnage in my emotions to what was once a dreamy bliss, wasted chance, knock knock, but you’re not his, stupid bint, knock knock, he’s not letting me in. Well, why do you think? Hearts on shoulders, smouldering boulders crumble into the ground. Lava bubbles with tar, you’re so far away from your broken heart, let me lick your wounds clean up with honey and buttermilk, smother you in sequin silk, protect you with cloaked crescents and twinkling kisses, rules for us forgetting the world, being lost in our own, just you and I.
I open two of them. I stick daggers into my sides and stitch together my heart that just fell, t u m b l i n g down from the sky.