face/off

Wiping the day clean.

I don’t have time on my hands and at the time that was something you didn’t want to understand.  Perhaps I should have explained myself properly, dutifully, considerately and not so.  Abruptly. Out of hand.

Accentuated rhythms only you can define, temper temper, profoundly, kindly, silently blind. I’m missing you and I can’t tell you because it’s not like you care which is hardly unfair, my words are too short and simple you like the long words you pick out from thin air.

I deserve much more than you are willing to think about giving, you want security for your secret anguish, I seek forgiveness for maltreatment, but you didn’t think.  Cut your nose to spite your face, losing pace.  I didn’t want to hold you and keep you safe from the snakes in the grave.  I wanted you to protect me and tell me forever you’d stay. Turned out you’re just the same, selfish games.  I have waited too long, too many mistakes.

Cleanser stings my face.

kryptonite

I’m in love with pretty much everything about you I don’t even know who you are

Night dreams have me breathing sun hours have me seething

I’m talking to a screen, out loud, this is ridiculous.

Passion and make-believe, my pretend wedding in red

You’ve made my crazy dream a nonsensical reality.

History repeats itself in language and love

Should not have tried to break me down

Impossible mind won’t allow you to go

Broken my already-broken heart

Crushed my soul into dust

I am wasting.

Anyhow.

rage fuel

Freedom of speech, permission to breach, released aggrieved, pretending to preach against it making us believe like we teach it. It’s seductive initially, it’s brand new at first, reeling off the worst of your curse, mortgage payments tightening strings on your purse, it’s monotony, dull repetitive daily jaw breaking melancholy, broken records, vinyl symmetry.

Keep wondering, blundering, through life like its peaches when really, thunder’s about your pain, aiming to blame so you don’t think sane, every day is filled with bills and rain. Ruptured structure is here to stay, bitterness is bewitching, itching to fit in, and falsified, you start playing their game.

All of a sudden everyone’s a hypnotist, scratched, cracked, competitive. Here, take a sedative, reading the additives, careful though materialism is addictive, permanent anaesthetic erasing the inflicted on a skewed curriculum, there’s enough of them, blaming inciting violence because you weren’t invited to taste the asylum.

Witness all-powerful continents colliding with incontinent politics, submissive governments purchased by mystics, Christendom & heretics killing indigenous masses but we’re past it. History teaches us the same old plastic when the truth is so incontrovertibly inelastic but I’m procrastinating, fascinating I’m sure, emancipated static systematically rancid, blast radius unknown.

Fantastically curious, sitting inside delirious when we should be furious. You sit there and calculate, evaluate, meditating precipitate, emasculate and hesitate, reciprocating fated hate, weighing wait, United States of stalemate, check mate when you don’t play.

when it clicks

Meltdown.
Breakdown.
Shakedown.
Fake crown.
You’re full of shit.
Unfortunately.
For you.
It’s permanent.
Basis for oasis.
You’ve got it.
All worked out wrong.
Sense of belonging.
Written in a song.
It continues.
Forward it on.
Double quick march.
Innocent lives.
Drawn in art.
All played out.
Black and white rainbow.
Nowhere to go.
Feet won’t run.
Too busy.
Holding this gun.
Unleashing the hidden.
un-

ultimatums

My darling, come.
Tipsy on red rum.

Stay with me here.
There’s nothing to fear.

Defensive stance.
This is your last chance.

Doubt plays a mind.
Evidence in kind.

Point advantage.
Melting in language.

Gives in to love.
Heaven tremors above.

Fallen angel.
Believes in fable.

Night takes a turn.
Dying candle burns.

Last vial of hope.
Hanging by a rope.

Potion spits out.
It’s a roundabout.

Knife slits a throat.
Spilling nuts and bolts.

Razors on wrists.
Crushed knuckles in fists.

Blade runs a chest.
Bloodied human mess.

On a white bed.
Life hangs by a thread.

He eats out her heart.
Now, she is dead.