past life

My heart is filled with darkness remembering shards of broken glass, picking up each splinter watching fingers bleed numb, because it’s done. My beacon. My angel. Plethora of prophecy saving me from demon arts, he handled the knife and pushed it slowly, twisting my broken arms. Alarmed. Shocked. Spitting out broken teeth and blood. You’re meant to love me not harm the spirit that actions your will. You grin. In satisfaction admiring the bit of me you’ve killed. I lie still. Wondering how it turned from radiance to a grim ill. Rain drops slide down the glass, my tears stain the windowsill. My cheekbones shattered, tired from wondering if the bruises will heal. Classic matters. Denied love by a man who is…
Real.

Soul to Soul

YESTERDAY

Friendship of misses.
Absent kisses.
Meaningless wishes.
Superficial, vested interests.
Bested images.
For your sanity,
or my escape?
I want your love,
not this pretend state.
Like it’s a mistake.
I sewed you up, now I ache.
My turn to break.
Be erased.

TODAY

An unforeseen, trapped in a strait.
Undated, and inundated.
Words are my mixed tape,
to our formless shape.
A twenty-four hour date.
Debating bait sakes.
Shaman acres; shame and papers.
Rhymes listed for reading later.
Sacred maker, saviour, creator.
Don’t forget me, save your data.
Never bitter darling, you’re my heart,
It’s crushed, like death’s petals,
An orchid dust.

All wrapped up,
in an exhausting hush.

scrambled

every palpitation, ink blot and spine tingle,
our spirits mingle, a ratio I can’t disclose,
my angels are with you, I’ll always be close,
messages, I’m listening out, filtering doubt,
and I can’t let you go, who knows,

broken boundaries for us both in due course,
right now, we ebb and we flow,
float and we grow, evolve and we dote,
love is my signature written in a thousand notes,
endlessly protecting your soul,

preoccupied, you’re my picture of gold,
and when these emotions destabilise
it won’t be your fault, if I fall,
you’re my crimson blush through it all,
my soldier fighting control,

blind sighted hearts stalling as she role calls,
fate has it figured, littered with missions:
lessons to be learned in shortfalls,
abridgements,
I surrender to your decision

and send you kisses in the rain,
shouting your name up to the sky in vain,
she daggers me incisions and you slice my veins:
I know how much you love her,
that’s the root cause of my pain.

11:11 REHEALING

Eve. You incense me, sensing tenses intently, finishing sentences sensibly, nonsensically, cyclically, an in, tense intensity, I scent me, integrity turning, internally yearning you’re unfurling me, cursing me with hot ash, curling a volcanic clash, hurling, crashing into cratered blasts, hurting, my catered mass, roaring into ceaseless seas. A different me, I’m not who I used to be. Who do I see? Embers red, dismembered heads, suns set orange spreads, prayers and blessings read as terms claused, closed in reality, being a head is nothing but an aimless be. Deliberately. You tore into me, worn threads, gave me a thorned bed to watch me bleed, tease, and seize agreed with he, I’m aggrieved with grief, you want me to believe you’re holy sharif? Wholly beneath a niche belief I sip my tea, grit my teeth, grip my weak, tip my leaves, leave you to breed metred heat to heathen thieves, turning the tables we return to thee in immortal sanctuary, heaven is more a query than easy relief for me. Asymmetry, I see me try painfully, to release this tension while I mention ninetynine breaths on these shiny kiwi beads, poised to be poisoned kidney beans. Length and breadth repeatedly, another conceit maybe? Deceit plays me. It wasn’t me eating creeds, serene deeds for misdemeans, I miss the means by which my screams see a piece of peace redeemed. It seems, you’ve sanctioned efficacy, muted fractions slicing delicacy, you’re the cause and effect, cautious debts, closure forgets kosher corsets, coarser regrets recollect the borndead bored fed, have you read the English as well I said, and had fits and spits and spurts instead. Raising phrases, glazing phases, it’s a fazed matrix, prophecies demonstrated or are they? Atrocities remonstrating, resonating: demons straighted, debated, castrated below the navel, outcast, rated a rebellious naval or is it your shameless self, your shapeless rouse for help, tournament gauntlets at the feet of love, restless stealth in bundles, testing molested greedy seeds abused in their fleeting hundreds, thousands, pretty sweet things, needle in a haystack burns so it doesn’t sting, my one need you knead as I kiss these sins you bring, careful of the wishes I pray for, mindful of the sincerity I pay for, you flaunt your wins, the nature in your All important things, and you call these stints, nurturing hints? Please. Natural tease. Ah, you delete my power, it fully depletes. Respecting responsibility I’m scrambling and fused, your con is all veined up in a silvery blue, conveying all else that is always true, I take heed, less haste and yet you consume my speed, confuse me deep, adding fuel to a greater siege, raging neat treats and still, you keep me here to breathe.

Ad. An interlude. An angle skewed. The same game you played with Satan now you’re levying your claim laying it latent all over me. Hand-me-down frowns; psychosis: saiq, oh sis, detrimentally my spirit lives in a petri dish, mental leaps indefinitely blaming you for an eternity, my affinity for infinity is infinitely a disciplinary I’m trying to break your mould, to set myself a part, hide, to being free. A serpentine, penting, venting disconnections, constantly dying, can’t take it this time and it’s not for want of trying, I’m spinning into mixed decisions, dormant deliverance for holding several, severed opinions, severe revisions for my femininity: different positions you adhere to are not enough for me to trust your masculinity. Clay I’m told from dusty folds you thought, Be. And here, I exist and I speak. You have my entire sobriety, my heart is decked in equity for you it’s pure as gold, our equilibrium is sanctity so battle me really but please don’t wear it on your sleeve and don’t ever sell your precious, soul. We’re developing supervisions, superstitions, we see impossible missions lost in each other’s custody, the care that you show, me goes beyond anything I’ve ever known. Rattled though, convening for convenience it feels as if I’m riveted to assisted collisions winding motions slow: rewinding, he stole my glow. Convinced with distance in a self -convicted, -inflicted insolence, meditating in silence, traversing verses in toxic, ate it serums, and if I did, you’re my sweet sugar syrup, I seek you, and you see me clean, you’re imprisoned in eclipsing preens, a prism of need, every sentimental element is melting precedence working to mix up jihad and deen.

Am. That. Tracing fortyfour footprints in the sand, man this after math is no myth and I don’t know that I can do this, over stand that is, stoking sticks, stroking fits into ground zero subtracting rifts, attracting tracts tracking cracks clutching relics, clasping acts axing raptured edicts, myriad in subconscious stances, mirrored internal glances, feared answers, unfulfilled, sitting in his absence stilled, declining coexistence, a divine coincidence, militant sacrilegious, we miss us, miss is, forcing the unnatural on to the pure, secure means leads to a bond which constantly gives more, her departed conscience (reclining conscious) was pretty much premature. So I’m rancid and anxious, trysted and thankless for the first time since I was not mine long before, you heal me I don’t know how for sure, she wasn’t distraught or slightly awful when I saw her and I was in awe, her consensus lawful, she consents us, senses us to be careful, and rightly so. Vertical alignment when a line meant refinement, passions inside him consigned to confinement, inciting, insighting writing, rights in hiding, deciding which side to light in. Light up, let in, de-signing re-signs indicting riots at heights higher than when we went in, lightning twice and I’m afraid to be calling, fall in, igniting sights, confiding sites, finding rites, he’s deciphering charms, charred wings freed from freedom I’m trusting it is what it is it’s not for love we’d be falling, or fighting, or lying unless we were lying in, life is like a smiling dream when you’re residing, dining on my mind mining the same kind of tidings shining from within, clear as crystal, sure as day, I don’t need to listen to what they say, you keep me sleeping and you’re near to me as a fabled whim, fairytale grim, speaking thoughts not secret keeping keeps me from weeping, I’m guided unbridled, unblinded, I’m rising and it’s him…rinsing my hymns.

Emoting. Floating. Growing. Remote control token flows are not my intention. Claws, flaws and floors pass by there’s no interest in pretension I’m invested in selection, I stand to attend: not for attention. I deliver promises I don’t attempt them, there’s no premise I accept him, operating under exception is the key to prevention, I’m apprehensive, if you’re passive or evasive, for self protection. There’s no self hating I’m brazen, I won’t be left waiting in the rain and, berated for historic delineations, I’m my horizon belated: we could be our creation, I’m liberated from your hostile cries and it’s taken, all these piecemeal meats to be where I need to be, I have decreed my final steed free will to say the least, I pause. Ascending, I send for him. My heavenly incentive, evenly repentive, re-tending skin underneath eager defensives I let him in without knowing, no sins to seep in, piecing in, he’s wrapped around my wrist in sync, insitu, needing to let go, and I did for my inner voice to think. Fortune ate me, innately, you sate me lately, layer me, hide me, high me, decipher me, fire me, fill me with indivisible kisses, an infinity of wishes, an eternity of wisdom, you leave me racing, aching, shaking, wanting to stay and, you’re shape shifting I thought you were my constant consummation, you’re blatant, alienating me in degradation, I’m running out of patience. My mysterious mystical had my sings clipped since the beginning, whipped, puppet stringed: sick little miracle, borderline cynical, bordered lines critical mistaking blisses for sensual rituals, senseless ripples, these plastic crystals are make-believe. Every speak is a suture if it suits you, my transparent heart in your honest palms, your art is my soothing balm, singing psalms with protection from harm. It’s on us. Harmonious. Harmony; our money; open arms only, your every heart beat makes up our collection of pennies.

Steady.